
Featured Poet: Kottyn
Monster
He came as Love
Holding my hand guiding me
Protective even
The security I needed
Pulled out my chair opening doors
I fell in love
The Kind of gentleman
I was looking for
He was beautiful to me...
Age three I remember my mother
Leaving me in his care
Playing hide and seek
Brushing my hair
But On this day things were different…
He led me up the stairs to
the bathroom before I could go
He came in and closed the door
before I knew it he was pulling
down my underwear
til they touched the floor
I'm only three years old
he stood about 10 feet tall
I'm small and parts of his body touch
my tiny little vagina tears rolled
I'm confused and scared
His torso pressed against my face
I couldn't scream, hard time brrathing I was bleeding,
I started whimpering
no one could hear me
Where's my mommy
She's supposed to protect me
can't she sense my pain
This lasted what seemed like forever
Finally someone called out for me
he jumped up fixed his clothes
Shushed me he said “I better not tell a soul”
Drops of blood were caught
by my underwear I pull them up and he sent me down the stairs
Age thirteen my mother's brother
was no better he'd sneak in around midnight
Turning off all lights
Hands creeping up my thighs
While my mother slept by the wall on the other side
Only this night was different
I believe God gave me some strength
So I fought back a silent attack
He didn’t see it coming, me
Huffing and puffing
I sat up fist bald up drawn back
I swung...SMACK!!
My tiny fist landed on his face
He was shocked maybe a little dazed
See this isn't the first time he fondled my insides but this is his last time he was surprised
So he quietly crepted off of me
He walked out and closed the door
I laid in silence, come morning
I told my mother what had taken place
She couldn't even look me in my face
Her head hung low
She didn't believe what I told her
I cried to think that your little girl would lie
Then I realized that the real monster is the woman I called mama
see she didn't protect me
from the boogie monsters the ones
called human monsters and I'm scared for life
I know what it's like to sense the pain from my own children there's an emotional connection
but somewhere along the way my mom developed a disconnection, it could have been at my birth,
I don't know what I could've done to cause her hurt, I’m just a little girl.
See all it's not because of her that
I got some healing gave forgiveness
Or that I'm able to stand strong
It’s because of my God and it is he who keeps me from repeating
the same mistakes my mother made see I made the choice that it wouldn't happen to mine I'll protect them at all costs, I'll fight
You See I never wanted my children to meet The Boogie man, the creeps inside our own home so I removed myself from...
The Monster Creeping Behind Closed doors.
Softly Spoken
Kottyn
I Let him Die
A few days ago I lost the man I once thought would be my King he's not deceased but he killed me he shot the love that once existed in me by putting his hands on me so instead of my family bury me I buried him removed him from my heart my life, at first I was hurt inside I wanted to die I wanted to hide but I hold my head high tears are dry...Now its time I heal and move on...I won't shed his tears anymore it's not worth it first neglect then disrespect it doesn't make sense you asked God for a woman like me and then you mistreat me. this is typical...My answer would have been yes to becoming your wife but I guess it wasn't meant for you and I...
It amazes me how God will give us what we ask for and somehow we find away to destroy it...maybe next time you will love better protect instead of hurt...leave your past in the past remove it from your world so you can have a better future...I wish you the best.
Softly Spoken
Kottyn